Oblivion

After Jack Reacher what little faith I ever had (possibly not since the days of The Firm and the first Mission Impossible) in Tom Cruise was restored; however good ol’ Tom has managed to completely smash that to smithereens with Oblivion.

Normally its not worth reviewing a bad film, however this was so appalling am actually in shock it was made let alone hyped and now the number one film in the UK.  The producers (plus the director – who happened to write this catastrophe -, cast, lighting crew, special fx guys, make up artists, costume designers etc) should all crawl into one of them very unrealistic futuristic caves featured in the film and think about what they have done for a good few years…

Virtually every scene is stolen from other mostly good sci-fi films (from Wall-E to Star Wars to The Island) and then twisted into something still recognisable but so bad and blatantly just does not even fit, because basically it’s a really poor love story.  In fact this film should really be labelled a mosaic.

At one point in the film it actually looks like Tom is sat at home playing xbox over dramatically thrashing around to entertain his kids whilst trapped in a bubble…although am not sure scientology allows Xboxes

Even Morgan Freeman couldn’t save this, despite the fact he enters with sunnies on and smoking a cigar; but he reveals yet another twist in the plot that just makes you slightly angry because there are way way too many of them and yet no story is really allowed to establish… he also seems to have caught the badactingitis that was clearly going around the set.  The extras are so bad it seems like they must have been paid in particularly weak cold tea.

The only saving graces, if you can call them that, is the fact that one actress is quite pretty (Olga Kurylenko) and Jack Harper (Toms character) talks this wobbly head doll thing Bob although that begins to grate towards the end of the film.   Oh actually that’s a lie, the saving grace of this, is in a strangely placed “artistic” interlude you see Jack Harper and his girlfriend in silhouette, very careful placement of their bodies makes him look taller than her, but yep you guessed it, in the very next shot 5 seconds later, instant short arse again, always worth a chuckle.

Go see this if you like pointless cheese (think gone off quavers), bad effects, even worse acting or just fancy a nap for 126minutes.