The Girl With Dragon Tat

If you have read the book you will be annoyed at what they left out and if you haven't read the book you won't understand what is going on because of what they have left out. Obvs.

Somehow they have managed to misrepresent Blomkvist (or whatever the lead dudes name is called) in an even worse way than the first adaptation by the Swedes.  However David Fincher (fight club, game etc) did his best and the direction was pretty awesome and the opening credits were Bond-esque, so much so my mate actually wondered if Daniel Craig would only play the part if the had such credits...  there was also the obligatory awkward torture scene that the sadistic Craig seems to enjoy partaking in as the submissive half.

Overall the most fascinating thing about this film is the accents, so clearly they couldn't all be speaking Swedish else it would have flopped at the international box office as we are all too lazy to read subtitles and if we wanted to read then we would have just read the book right?  Anyway  it is blatantly Swedish story with Swedish characters and funnily enough set in Sweden the majority of the characters have Swedish accents...but that is where the confusion lies...the majority?? why not all or none? Luckily Daniel Craig didn't attempt an accent, that would just be weird like Christopher Plummer or Robin Wright being Swedish.  But I really don't understand why it was just Daniel Craig who didn't, am pleased but confused...

So if you haven't read the book go see if you like to be befuzzled by choice of accent use, enjoy scenes of torture or just love staring at Daniel Craig.  If you have read the book, don't go see it unless you like being disappointed.

Another Earth

It is always a gamble to walk into a film without having heard anything more about it than its genre; however it is awesome when it turns out to be a decent film.  In the case of “Another Earth”, it was promoted as a “Sci-Fi” category, yet this could be up for argument and almost does the film a injustice.  It could be said this is one of the most human, down-to-earth (excuse the pun) stories to be told. 

It shows humanity at its weakest and most vulnerable, it emphasises how beautiful relationships are  based on secrets and lies, it demonstrates stunningly how humans can adapt to the different situations they find themselves in, it is thought provoking and amazingly it evokes all the senses, even touch, which is a pretty special accomplishment for a film.

 

It absorbs its audience in the most all-encompassing way, despite the fact that it could easily have been filmed on a hand-held camera for all the Hollywood flare it does not have.  It is a philosophical journey, slow paced and unpredictable in a predictable way.   The dialogue is minimal.  This film has “Indie flick” written all over it but not in a pompous artsy way.  The use of both diegetic and non-diegetic sound is haunting and continuous.  Best of all the ending is satisfying but not spoon fed.

Basically I loved this film, but do not go see if you are one that takes a bite out of the apple of cynicism and cannot cope with a little self-reflection. 

Horrible Bosses

This review is a few months late and rather short.

The Big Year

This film has been slated by critics, but maybe it was because it was billed (excuse the tenuous pun) wrong.  Fair enough it has Jack Black, Owen Wilson and Steve Martin, three names that would normally be associated with comedy performances.  However this was not a comedy, yes it was mildly amusing in places, but it was NOT a comedy so don’t go expecting one else you’ll be joining the 80% of audience that walked out!  Fair enough a bog standard film regarding bird watching may not drawer in the audiences as much as a comedy, so it was a clever marketing technique. 

Yet miss selling it this way seems to not give it the justice it deserves; as it was a very captivating story. Even if you are not into birding, you do genuinely want to find out what happens in “The Big Year”.  Also the characters and friendships are developed really well, which does not often happen in a traditional comedy.  It is also mightily educational you will definitely come away knowing more about birds than when you went in and not have been bored stupid.

Although it does not conclude satisfactorily, don’t stay till the end of the credits as you will not find out who comes in 3^rd even though you really want it to be that girl from The Office US (not that anyone would be sad enough to actually do that). 

Johnny English

This film amazingly made itself a parody of two parodies, The Pink Panther and Rush Hour, therefore was unbearably predictable.   The dreadful comedy timing changed it from genuinely funny to slapstick and the only people that laughed at this awful slapstick and cheap jokes were the people sitting in the row in front of us who appeared to have come together on the special bus.  Although I did laugh at one scene which involved ball crushing, but I was the only one, perhaps that’s my evil streak.

Put it like this, if this film was a tree and you cut it in half it would have ridiculous written from its edge to its core!

On a more positive note it did take the piss out of blatant sponsorship and product placement, which did make it quite entertaining rather than usual annoying spin it gives to films.   However even the continuity in the product placement was bad as it was throughout the painful 2 or so hours, for your amusement (as you are going to need something to do) look out for the disappearing gun and the amazing way that Johnny English appears to teleport.  Also for the petrolheads out there here’s a little “where’s wally” for you….look out for obvious, but maybe not so intentional, Evo reference.   Yes it was that bad you start noticing such things and reading way too much into them, towards the end even the special bus brigade were not laughing.

However in a massive contradiction to all of the above at the end I turned to my brother and actually said “Well that was awful did you enjoy it? Cos I did!”

In Time

In Time

Basically its Robin Hood meets The Matrix, which for me is an almost perfect combination.  Add to this the fact, that due to the entire cast having to look 25 or younger to uphold a key part of the storyline, you have a vast selection of eye-candy; including Justin Timeberlake, Olivia Wilde, Cillian Murphy (whose character seemed to feel the need to reaffirm his vocation every 5 minutes), and a very upgraded version of Mamma Mia’s Amanda Seyfried (who is due to play Linda Lovelace next year…something to look forward to!) then you would assume you have the perfect combination.

The only problem is, if you are part of the annoying group that have to question things and look past the glamour just to pick things to pieces, you are going to have a field day with the “flawfull” continuity and storyline; or if you are one of those who have to take the not so hidden metaphors, messages or philosophies of the film and strip them of all integrity, (I mean Darwinian Capitalism…p-uh-lease) then like me this film will leave you momentarily blinded by its Hollywood hypnotism and hegemonic manipulation but ultimately dissatisfied.

Contagion

Having not really heard much about this film (yes I live under a rock) only that according to my aunty it was incredibly boring, I was preparing myself for another good snooze (which sadly happened last week during tin tin as I actually wanted to watch that!).   However from the moment it started I was captivated… with Jude Law’s accent! Is he Australian? Is he a cockney? Is he a cockney Australian? Fascinating and the best part is they leave you guessing, by the end of the film you are as clueless regarding his characters origins as you were at the beginning.

Apart from that it is the perfect confirmation of every hygienically frustrated OCD sufferer out there, you could actually hear the muttering in the cinema, well you would have done if they had been brave enough to leave the house and mingle with the dirty public.

Personally I don’t think that the title contagion necessarily refers to the spread of a virus around the world via the dirty public but the film seems to focus more on the spread of a moral panic around the world resulting in fear, anger and desperation.   Obviously there is the scapegoat (Morpheus aka Laurence Fishbourne), anti-hero (Jude Law) and the true heroine (Lizzy Bennett aka Jennifer Ehle); however there is also an entire other cast of amazing actors as there are so many interconnected subplots, yet they are all very easy to follow and quite interesting.

Watch if you enjoy conspiracy theories, washing your hands or dodgy accents.

Friends with Benefits

Mila Kunis is hot. Nuff said (and all there is to say).

Kill List

You know that game where one of you starts a story then take it in turns to complete it without knowing what had already been written on the paper? Well Kill List appears to have been scripted with that method,  the first hour and a half  was incredible but then the last 10 minutes totally leftfield and completely different.

Throughout the beginning of this film I was thinking what a directorial masterpiece.  The pace was slow but steady and intriguing; it was like reading a really good book, capturing your attention and sparking your imagination. Nothing you expected to happen happened, it came across as a really predictable film but wasn’t, you thought you knew for sure what was happening next and it was subsequently different.

It juxtaposed graphic violence that was gritty and real - think Paddy Considene and Shane Meadows - with fights scenes akin to Bridget Jones.  It was spectacularly done, with some pure comedic one liners, actual laugh out loud lines contrasting with covering your eyes/ears scenes of anticipation of the unimaginable.

Most people speak today of audiences being desensitized and that nothing shocks anyone anymore but this should have a rating all of its own.  It was almost a homage to QT with the black screens with white text and graphic violence but arguably million times better than QT and his Hollywood budgets.

I have never sat in a cinema where there was complete silence, no one moving, whispering, eating, drinking or, it seemed, even breathing.  Looking around everyone had their hands nervously near their faces.  It wasn’t so much that anything happened that was jumpy or particularly that horrific when thinking along the lines of commercial horrors (Saw, Hostel etc), but the build up with the emotionally evoking score that was masterfully composed to combine the right amount of pensive tension with fear.  At one point people actually were covering their ears rather than their eyes as the sounds were so creepy.

Have no idea why it changed at the end, it was truly bizarre, I will not spoil it but there is no way to guess unless you have read any real reviews.  I went into this film knowing that it was a British film and that the title sounded good, thinking to myself that I hadn’t seen an 18 that seemed that more disturbing than a 15 nowadays, however this needed its own rating.

With a virtually unknown cast and only the second outing for the director and a minimal budget of only £500,000; it shouldn’t  be put solely in the genre of “horror” and all the negative commercial ideas that generates, for it is more than just a horror,  it wouldn’t give you nightmares as you know you could never be in that situation, or if you are you have most definitely chosen to be, but it does provoke horrific thoughts whilst watching the film, as everyone knows the imagination is the scariest thing…

The skin I live In

So we walk out the cinema and my mum says to me “well that was a waste of 2 hours, but I didn’t not enjoy it!” make of that surmise what you will, but what I say is this… where the hell has Antonio Bandaras been hiding his acting talent all these years, the only thing recognisable about him was his static aesthetics, his facial gesticulation and body language was alien to his normal tongue in cheek performances.

There was none of the Hollywood slickness or sharpness however the grittiness of this film gave it character.  It was definitely “foreign” both in content and style.  The soundtrack once again made the film over the visuals, although one could argue that the mis-en-scene in each freeze frame was very thought through, perhaps the work of a want to be artisan. Which I suppose is to be expected from Pedro Almodóvar whose track record includes 2006’s Volver and Bad Education from 2004.

It was true escapism without a thought of the outside world (apart from the odd camera angle giving the leading lady, Elena Anaya,  a striking resemblance to the delectable Natalie Portman yum yum).   Although it is worth a mention that the themes of surgery potential and DNA/Genetic mutations are very current and thought provoking if you are that way inclined. 

The timeline was played with a little to keep your interest but not enough to lose the audience, the handy "6 years later" etc text helped as well!

I came away confused (not because it was to hard to follow more that it was hard to comprehend) or at least in the words of the special needs donkey “I think I am confused but I am not sure”, although what I am definitely sure of is that am taking up Spanish and Yoga again… 

Apollo 18

We’ve all done it, sat in the cinema, comfy(ish) seat in the dark and felt our eyelids slowly droop as we allow the lethargy to sink in, especially if the film is not exactly a thrilling gripper, just like this one, Apollo 18.  However every time your eyelids drop in this they are suddenly yanked wide open by the heart attack a sudden shit your pants jumpy bit flashes on the screen.  With hardly any dialogue (in its place a very compacted soundtrack) and absolutely no character building this film is hard to get into, add to the that the Blair Witch/Cloverfield filming technique which is no good  for epileptics or those to whom just the thought of Alton Towers makes them feel woozy there is not much really going for this film.  However there is no, in any way shape or form, love story sub plot so that is a refreshing bonus, but it does mean there is no eye candy!

Having said all that I did enjoy it, if only because I didn’t know whether the next pointless jump would be the end of me old ticker!  As well as, just like the next person I love a good conspiracy theory and cover up!